Abba Poeman said to Abba Joseph, “Tell me how I can become a monk.” And he replied, “If you want to find rest here and hereafter, say in every occasion, Who am I? and do not judge anyone.”

Abba Poeman was very direct about the level of sanctity cultivated at Scetis and its desert outposts. Every day say to yourself, Who am I? Think of the effect of a spiritual examen like that one. On Monday, Who am I? Answer: I am the one who is tired of staying here in the desert any longer. It’s not anything like I thought it would be. On Tuesday, Who am I? Answer: I am the one who has little enough to give to the world but I would like to give it anyway. On Wednesday, Who am I? Answer: I am not that showoff who brings water to all of us every day. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? At base, it is a simple enough question—but ask it often enough and answer it truthfully enough and you might, sometime, answer it sincerely enough to know the true answer the next time you look in the mirror: I am the person who pretends to care for people more than I really do. Or, I am the person who talks about the Scriptures but seldom really sits with them and takes them seriously. Or, I am exhausted being a person who is trying to be faithful to a daily practice—but is not. Or, I am a person who never tells the truth about my family background, which means that I have learned to lie well.

Suddenly the answer to what makes for spiritual transformation becomes plain: I In God's Holy Light: Wisom From the Desert Monastics by Joan Chittisterwill really be a monk when I put down all my righteousness, am honest about myself, and never again judge another person.

The effect is immediate indeed…“Then comes rest, here and hereafter.” I am free now. There is nothing anyone can say about me that I have not already admitted about myself. Abba Joseph has enabled me to accept who I am. I don’t need to lie anymore. I am ready to grow again.

—excerpted from In God’s Holy Light: Wisdom from the Desert Monastics by Joan Chittister (Franciscan Media). An audio book read by Sister Joan Chittister is also available. Click here.